In his book “The best way to catch a snake”, Karma Yeshe Rabgye (a Buddhist monk) writes —

“If a wise person was trying to catch a poisonous snake in the wild, he would pin its head down with a forked stick first. That way the snake could not bite him. Otherwise, it could be dangerous to catch a snake in the wrong way.”

This analogy is supposed to convey the importance of learning Buddhism on your own. If we only go by the quotes we find online, half-baked knowledge about Buddhism can in fact be more harmful than being useful to us.

It made sense to study Buddhism with more sincerity now after reading all this.

The most surprising lesson I learned yesterday from the same book was how Buddha mentioned, “Grief and pain springs from love”. This is new to me. I never read something like this before.

There’s a story about Buddha mentioning this. Let’s take a look at it below.

If we only go by the quotes we find online, half-baked knowledge about Buddhism can in fact be more harmful than being useful to us.

In another chapter, Karma Yeshe Rabgye mentions,

Gautam Buddha stated in his Piyajatika Sutra: Grief, pain, and despair spring from love; their source is love.

In this sutra, a man approaches the Buddha because his only son died and he can’t think of anything else.

He can’t work and doesn’t want to eat. He keeps going to the graveyard and crying. That is when Buddha tells him that grief, pain, and despair spring from love; their source is love.

Like us, the man can’t accept that love is the source of suffering. When scholars of those times (Brahmin) ask Buddha to explain this, Buddha gave them several examples to clarify.

He states that if you love somebody and that person dies, doesn’t that love turn into grief and pain?

This implies all the emotions cause us suffering — even the happy and the positive ones. What’s making us happy right now, will not make us happy after some time. It’s impermanent.

Gautam Buddha stated in his Piyajatika Sutra: Grief, pain, and despair spring from love; their source is love.

How to overcome this suffering, according to Buddhism?

I met the author a few months back and had a two-hour deep conversation with him. Obviously, I asked him this question.

He recommended four daily rituals to follow — for a more peaceful and purposeful life. I have been following these rituals since I met him, and my life is changed.

Here are those four daily rituals —

1. Daily meditation. Daily morning meditation might sound difficult to you, and it definitely is when you’re just starting out, but it’s a sure-shot way of inviting peace in your life.
2. Practicing non-violence in thoughts, words, and actions. Not using judgments and harsh prejudice to satisfy your ego and being hurtful to others. Not using hurtful words. Not hurting someone physically.
3. Living a life of service. Your act of service doesn’t need to change everyone’s world — it needs to change someone’s world.
4. Daily reflection practice. It doesn’t seem like rocket science — just asking yourself how your day went, what all did you do good and evil, and how would you improve it. I coach my clients to make this a daily habit.

I have been following these rituals since I met him, and my life is changed.

I am processing my emotions a lot better and my suffering has probably been reduced, for now.

If you decide to practice these four daily rituals too, understand that it takes time and effort to develop these habits. Like any other habits, you will have off-days too. Eventually, persistence and effort pay off.

Learn to let go and forgive

Consider that you went out for a walk, and you saw a young girl playing and smiling beautifully. You will feel pleasant.

You continued walking, and you saw a person shouting at his wife and the wife seemed to be crying. You will feel unpleasant.

You move on and keep on walking. A group of people passed by you. You don’t know them, they don’t know you. There’s no kind of energy exchanged, and so you will have neutral feelings.

All (pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral) feelings and emotions are temporary, and they all bring us suffering.

We hold on to pleasant emotions (like happiness, excitement, joy, etc) when we ignore the fact that they are impermanent; and we hold on to negative emotions (like fear, hatred, anxiety) because we feel unsafe and we look out for familiar feelings and patterns.

The best way to avoid suffering is to learn to let go, forgive and be present in the moment.

This doesn’t imply you sit with your eyes closed throughout the day in meditation — this simply means you are present in the moment observing what’s happening around you and in you.

Being present in the moment helps us get over the worry and anxiety of the future and the guilt of the past.

Facing the truth

It seems depressing at first when you talk about death and suffering and impermanence. But it’s the truth.

Ignoring the truth causes a great deal of suffering. Ignorance is where our suffering begins.

Now the question is — what’s the truth you’re trying to ignore right now?

Nobody among us has all the answers and nobody ever will. But our journey towards awareness is quite enlightening.